Random Thoughts by Jon W. Baker
Friday, December 17, 2010
 
The 10 Commandents of Marriage

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven.But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating.In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said ....After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...No wait...

Sorry..

I'm thinking of tequila. It’s tequila that does all of that.

Never mind.

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